After serious deliberation, I have decided to offer my services as Head Football coach here at UVA. I have tremendous experience not only was I a two year starter on my H.S football team but I have personally watched over 600 games a year for the past 42 years, most in front of a 60" screen! I have memorized all of UVA's 5 plays and plan on expanding playbook by 20%. My two very attractive grand daughters have volunteered to help with recruiting. As far as a coaching staff is concerned, I have some buddies from my H.S. team that are still looking for a job, and several would make great assistants. I do have a special request, one that is imperative. I need to have a port-a-potty on the sideline because I can't always wait till halftime. To show everyone that this isn't all about money, I would be willing to donate $100.00 for pizza and beer for members of CAV CORNERS each and every week of our season. Of course before I make that an absolute promise, I need to verify that the job still pays 2 million plus lots of benefits. Don't be a roach, vote Hardy for coach!
